Archive for the Random Category

Things I’d do if I were an Evil Overlord

Posted in Random on 1 March 2007 by msjohnson

Right…so you are an Evil Overlord. What should you be doing? Thankfully, you can now learn from the grisly deaths of a few previous ones. How? There exists an amusing list of tips, do’s, and don’ts that I would advise any Evil Overlord (with a trusty Legion of Terror) to consider. I have to say I was impressed. If you aren’t even likely to become an E.O. (not far from CEO, eh?), the list is a good read anyway.

On a similar note, I am of the opinion that there is room for another equally useful list, ‘Lessons Learned from Hollywood’, that should be mandatory reading for all schoolchildren and scriptwriters (tiresome cliches anyone?).

The first few entries would go:

1. Never, ever, go into an abandoned building (especially if the front door is unlocked and slightly ajar).

2. Never split up when exploring a hazardous environment.

3. Always design robots with an easily accessible on/off switch (and prevent the robot from being able to reprogram it).

4. Better yet, don’t make AI at all.

I welcome any suggestions that the reader may have.

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Leaflets anyone? [an A..Z on leaflet giving]

Posted in Random on 11 February 2007 by msjohnson

Today at my church (Beeston Free Church), our assistant minister, Craig Langstaff, gave an illustration that I thought very instructional. He outlined how to effectively administer leaflets to passers-by. While highly amusing (and culturally insightful), a quick scan may be quite appropriate given that this week is my university’s mission week, and there will certainly be a lot of leafleting…

The tips are as follows:

  1. You must be absolutely convinced that the leaflet you hold is the most important thing the recipient could read.
  2. As a result of the above, you must be ‘on the front foot’. That is, leaning torward the person, confidently handing them pure gold. Mind you, it is not good to be over-confident, lest they thing you are trying to assault them.
  3. Perfect timing is essential. You cannot offer the leaflet too soon (and they have enough time to think and get flustered), and you cannot be too late (and they have too little time to think).
  4. If you are proffering to a large group (say at a bus stop), it is essential that the first person accepts – in this way the rest of the group is likely to follow suit. Whatever happens, a group of people is likely to follow the first person.
  5. If you find that a number of people have refused a leaflet, you are better off pausing for a bit, until the people passing do not know why you are there. You are thus more likely to give a leaflet, and so to subsequent passers-by.

I can’t wait to put this into practice!

(By the way, the above was used to illustrate an inherent fear that we all have, of being outside the group. We are all sheep at heart!)